*sigh*

How I wish I lived in the Shire... or anywhere in Middle Earth. I would go questing, like Bilbo. I would have all sorts of adventures! I wouldn't have to sit here and write them--I could go out and live them. That is the lifestye I have always wanted. To be free of this world's limitations--the doubts, the boundaries on the map that say there is nothng left to be discovered, the lack of belief in things not seen every day.
If I could, if I knew what lay beyond this life, I would leave it. If I knew that I would go to Middle Earth, I would. I wish I could go there with all my heart. I feel as if I don't belong in this world. It is dull to me. There is no spark that keeps me going, save, perhaps, the anticipation for the adventures I will have in my dreams each night.
There is something out there, calling for me. And there is something in my heart that responds to that call, that pulls me to the place that I have never seen, yet hold so dear to myself. I want to go, I want to quest. I don't want to be stuck behind a desk all day at school. I don't want to be stuck behind the pages of a book. And I don't want to be stuck behind text on a computer screen. I want to go out and be free--free to expore, free to love, free to truly live.
Why was I born into this world? This world where I clearly don't belong. Is it so that I can relay the stories from the place I do belong to the ears of those who have never heard its calling? I don't know. I will never know. But all I can hope for is to see it again. One day, I will see it. One day, I will return.
Just as I can feel its calling, I can feel that I will be able to answer it some day. I can feel it in my heart.